Gearing up

Today has been the most difficult so far. I splept alright last night, but I kept on waking up from these aweful dreams. I cannot remember any of them now, but I still remember the way that they made me feel. I am sure I am not alone here! There have to be people out there who can't neccessaraly remember their dreams, but they are left with the feelings from the dream. Anywho, I have had a fairly constant set of butterflies in my stomache...I know, I know, "I just have to get them to fly in formation." Blech. (That's what I have to say to all of that sap!) : ) I am all packed up and ready to drive down to my folk's house today with Ari. By the way, he has been more that wonderful to me...we did go to the Weisbaden hot springs/spa on Friday and I got a one hour massage....Yummie. That's all I have to say about that! : ) I wish that I had a messeur on-call, 24 hours a day...I guess that's something to keep on the list of things we will get when we are super rich! : ) Hee hee!

Ari and I leave here at 3 p.m.ish and will be arriving in Fruita around 6 p.m. where we will spend the night, attempt to sleep. We are bringing down Jack, our cat and we are also taking my special new recliner for me to recover in at my Parent's. On monday we head for hospital around 9:30ish to get there by 10 a.m. There we will get all checked in, get an I.V. started, have one last meeting with my surgeon and a meeting with the anesthatist who will be taking me, my whole life into his hands! I hope that this anesthatist is the best anesthesiologist EVER! : )

Today really has been the hardest day with the challenge for me to continually roll my cares on the Lord. I think that I did a fairly good job staying busy and at the same time, allowing myself to feel the things that I am feeling. I get really good at stuffing things like this, and putting on a brave face. I know that is one of the least healthy ways of dealing with situations like this, so I am trying to be aware of it and when I feel myself going there, I stop and give it all back to God. I really don't know what I would do with out the Lord. ("What would I do without the Lord? What would do without the Lord on my side? What would I do without His hand to guide me?....He stops by every now and then and He blesses me, He blesses me, Oh Yes!) : ) (That was a throw-back to the 1996 M.C. choir. Boy did we rock that song!) Seriously now, it sincerely baffles me, no, it grieves me that people live through horrendeous circumstances and situations and they have to do it all by them selves...no God. For me, that could never be possible. I love my Lord and Jesus is ALIVE! That concept/revelation that my God is living and active in all of our lives has been huge for me lately. What great hope we have been given. My living God desires to have a close relationship with us all, the Almighty, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords loves me, has plans for me...a future for me...a destiny-the thing that I was created to be and do! I am going to miss being here for the bible studies, I think that will be part of my motivation to get well as soon as possible.

For those of you out there who know who my Uncle Scotty VanDusen is, it's his birthday today! (I guess technically, it's no longer his birthday because it's 7:17 in the morning, but to Ari and I, it's still Saturday. See, we haven't gone to bed yet! : ) I am getting tired, finally! I hope that my Uncle Scotty had the best birthday yet and, simply because it must be said; I am glad that he was born and I love it that we each have a day set aside once a year just to celebrate being the very best You that you can be. Also, I think that he does a great job being who he is...the world we live in is a better place because he is in it! So HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCOTTY!!!

Alright, I am done with all of the mushy stuff....I can't help it guys, I love my family! : ) I guess that I don't really have much more to say, so I will close this entry saying that I love you all very much, you have all touched my life in very different and unique ways and I am forever changed by it, for the better.

Many Blessings,
Kristen Fairlight Eddy